Wednesday, October 24, 2007

My baby's three weeks old!

Matt went back to work today, and of course Logan was fussy all morning. I also decided to quit breastfeeding altogether, and I've been dripping all day. When I only produce 10 cc a feeding, and he takes an average of 130 cc...what's the point. I am very disappointed. I don't like my body all that well as it is, and now I feel betrayed that I can't even feed my own baby. Before I had this problem, I wondered why someone would feel bad about something they had no control I know. It's such a letdown, and I feel like I failed Logan. Not logical, but there you go. I'm sure I'll get over the feeling, and quitting will probably help me move on.

I do feel pretty good about the fact that I'm only 5 pounds over the weight I was when I found out I was pregnant. I have finally lost the excess water, and my feet are back to their normal size. Yay, it doesn't hurt to walk anymore (well, except for my back). I guess I can tell the doctor I told you so--that extra weight was water after all, not fat.

I just felt like have a little whine today. This is harder than I thought it would be. I guess Matt had it right after all!


Anonymous said...

(((((((Hugs))))))) When I gave it up, I felt like I was heartlessly depriving Patrick. Completely illogical, but there you go. Try cold cabbage leaves in your bra. Don't leave them in for too long, but they feel wonderful, and they'll help dry up your milk. :)

Unknown said...

It really sucks to not be able to produce enough milk for your baby. I know. =( Try frozen bags of peas if you have any pain. *hugs*

jymisgurl said...

LOTS OF HUGS!!!!! He'll be fine. In a year, it won't make a bit of difference. What's most imprtant that he gets enough nutrition, not where it comes from. Not to mention the happier mommy he'll have. And you'll still get that wonderful bonding holding him while he eats.
I breastfed my youngest for nine months, and I still felt guilty for stopping. (He was biting very hard, and drew blood a few times.) He'll be fine. Good luck.
BTW just some advice from the mom of a wild 4yo: treasure him while he can't walk and talk. ;)

Kim said...

I know it's hard not to feel bad, but don't. Breastfeeding is hard and Logan will love you no less if he has a bottle :)

Congrats on being so close to your prepregnancy weight--that's definitely something to be proud of.

Oh, and when I had my first my back was killing me for weeks. I think you have to get used to carry that little bundle around all the time.

Hang in there!

mainely stitching said...

I can't really offer much that hasn't already been covered regarding breastfeeding and stopping. I hope you'll let yourself off the hook soon.

I have to admit to being "jealous" of your weight - I feel like I need my own zip code these days! Congratulations!!

Jane said...

Don't fret about not being able to breastfeed. I had the same problem and it turned out to be a blessing in disguise, namely, that other people could feed the baby! It is not a failure at all, dear, so give yourself a break. Some things are not meant to be. Congratulations on losing the water weight! Take care!

Deanne J said...

Don't be too hard on yourself for giving up breastfeading. I only lasted 2 weeks with Aaron, I was in so much pain I was crying through each feeding. Now he's a healthy and happy 3 month old, enjoying his bottle.